My love life as a teenager.

      
I never thought that I want a relationship in my life when I was a teen.
I know, sounds crazy ha?
But I always wanted to be independent.I wanted to do what I want as I want just after I get the feeling of doing something.I didn't want to listen to someone.Or to adjust. I.I 've heard that to have a good relationship you should devote and dedicate.I didn't like such a thing at all.

"WHY SHOULD I?"I thought.

"I never 'll offer anything more to any male than friendship."

That's me being a wieder teenager.
But I knew that I have to go against my policy one day too.

  Until that day my intention was to enjoy my life as much as free as I can.I don't know how to express what Freedom means to me.But I'm quiet sure it is something that way beyond the meaning of freedom.I was afraid that I 'll have to adjust my life as he wants.Because no matter how much the society tells you that "Everybody treat equally", the world is still with male dominance.

   At the same time there was another reason that I had no interest to have a relationship.'MY FRIENDS' LOVE LIFES' which I figured only based on the attraction or some king of a benefit to some party later. I knew how many friends of mine suffered because of this love .I knew how much of a pain they had to bear after such relationships.Not even girls, boys too after they refuse devote and dedicate or to adjust to some situations.

  I saw how hard it is to recover from a heart break.Specially mentally and socially.I saw how much of a courage they needed to face the reality and the society."I don't want to suffer my life that much,because of  an outsider"I thought. 

 Because I used to be someone who never thought serious in my life and afraid to get sad.So what I did was skip things which I thought hurt my feeling.I feel bad very rarely.So there were few to skip.one was love.

     When I look back to my teen age I realize that I also was expecting a true and deep love which I'm receiving now.And it was very rare to find that time.It seemed as all the lover back then were cheaters.
 But now I know that it's because in the years we spend as teenagers. Many among us didn't have the real feeling about the depth of love.But I couldn't figured  what's wrong with love that time,I only saw it's something teens have had to get some dates and to get a bit of popularity or some kind of a benefit receive by the both parties.

   But the love stories I've watched in on movies and the books I've read seemed to have a more depth than Love I saw around.It was all fancy and I didn't want such a relationship.Sometimes I thought kind of love that shown in movies and in books, won't work in real life but after I heard the love story f my Grand parents which my granny told me,I was quiet sure that those movie loves work for real too.

 Because of  these reasons I didn't go for love in my teen age.So I was really don't want to have a relationship that time though it was also one of an important factor to survive in the society.
 Thank to my social qualities, it wasn't that hard to fill out that blank in public.And I 'm quiet happy about it.Because I enjoyed my life as a single very much that time.